Thais (though I prefer to call them Siamese) call their country the Land of Smiles. You wonder why, sometimes. Doctors look miserable, and I can testify to that because I spent ten days being treated for love sickness. It’s a wicked place, Thailand. The women are hot, but they tend to go around in groups wearing fishnet stockings and mini skirts even when it’s minus ten degrees. The men are likewise keen on sporting skimpy t-shirts and drinking lager and eating curry late at night. Steer clear of this if it doesn’t tickle your fancy. Otherwise join in. I like curry. I think many backpackers do.

Eating Out

The food’s great and tasty here. Just be careful. Patties, things called “stotties”(which are a bit like our own thick-wedged sarnies), stacked full of grated cheese and coleslaw. Or you can heat up a mean lentil and tomato soup in your room. The canned variety will neatly fit into a standard-sized kettle. Add borlotti beans and it’s scrumptious. Just mind those filaments, electric shocks have been reported (specifically by Carl).

Drugs

Are common here, but don’t take everything that’s offered you. I was given a sleeping pill, and on top of eleven bottles of Singha it’s not an experience I’d like to repeat. Especially unpleasant was waking up in the corridor of an apartment block I’d never seen before, minus my trousers and money.

Shopping

I never made it to the famous Floating Market. If you want to see it you have to get up at 5am. The localss have a canny eye for the original and for value for money. This is reflected in the astonishing range of shops - from bric-a-brac to designer labels - which will tempt the palate of even the most jaded shopper. The area rivals anywhere else in Asia for the sheer variety and quality of shops. From some of the biggest shopping centres in Asia (with excellent transport links and parking facilities to smaller, independent boutiques to some superb designer outlets, if it's retail heaven that you're after, then look no further. This is Asia’s finest city centre shopping. It’s clean, compact and easy to get around with traffic-free streets and undercover malls the shopping is bliss.